had a doctors appointment to find out what the chest specialist was saying.   after being told  i probably have fractures my doctor says the chances of that being the problem are miniscule.  was told i would get extra pain relief....no i wont. dr has an hunch it might be something to do with my crohnes as in one day my waist size can increase by over 4 inches due to swelling, there isa big hard lump below my ribs and when he had a poke at my stomach i almost went through the roof. got a steriod inhaler to see if that will help my breathing.
however nothing else can be done till i see the chest specialist  mid november. if the bone scan results then are negative then further investigations can be done (once the chest bloke sees me )so it could be a long time before they  find out what the problem is.
its really starting to grind me down now. i feel exausted all the time since i cant get a decent sleep and with the pain.  doing anything exausts me too since i cant get enough oxygen all the time.  not helping my depression either. at least i have managed to avoid the flu and colds thats going around..!! 
no matter how bad things get there is always some thing positive !!!! (so far lol)

got my appointment through for my gamma bone scan for this friday. got to go in, get injected with radioactive isotopes then go away and come back a couple of hours later for a 45 minute scan.  easy peasy.. think not... i have to take out all my piercings !!!!  my anti-tragus piercings have not been out since i got them bout 10 years ago coz they are so difficult to get back in, same goes for my bottom set of labrets.  argh...gonna be naked with out my jewellery. have got some ptfe bars kicking around somewhere so i will see what i can cobble together so my labrets wont start closing up.
strange thing is i have a pin in my leg which is 316 stainless steel, the same that my piercing jewellery is made of. cant remove that but was told because it was part of a surgical procedure its ok when im having my scan..

its 2009 and theres wars still going on, famine, freak weather and people loosing their homes because of the current financial mess we are in.
im a member of a few steampunk forums and all the americans seem to do is snipe and bitch at each other over things like some one had a bit of pink in their outfit or something is historically inaccurate (helloo..its a fictional genre) but acouple of days ago somone on the steampunk fashion forum complained about the fact she was at a convention and not one 'gentleman' offered her a seat as she has a corset and heels on. she started going on about victorian manners (or lack of) and how its just not on...
so as i mentioned the world is totally screwed up but this person is just worried about the fact that because she was dressed as a victorian lady  she should have been treated like one.  even more worrying is the amount of women agreeing with her because they have worn corsets and heels too and not been offered a seat...hellooo...im disabled, walk with a stick and dont even expect to get offered someones seat (which quite a few people pointed out but were ignored). 
there is a lack of manners out there. we all have held doors open without a thank you and had our change practically thrown at us in a shop by the assistant at the till but its 2009 not 1889.....

went to peterhead hospital today for my chest clinic appointment.  in for chest xray first which was in with the ultrasound for pregnant folks. looks like hobgoth is going to have a healthy pie baby lol.  off  to the chest clinic next. no walking for miles dodging porters with an attitude problem, since its a small place.  got a peak flow test and had a nice yap with the nurse about my new rocks and her daughters auburn hair.  everywhere i go i end up having strange conversations with complete strangers. 
finally saw the chest specialist. my x-rays were pretty much clear and my peak flow is not too bad. after much poking and prodding one of the options is i have a fractured ribs which are not showing up on the x-rays. i could have fractured them  years ago but certain circumstances might make it play up. so now i have to go to foresterhill for a bone scan (wooo...glow in the dark tess!!) and wait for blood tests.
*sighs carefullly*  now i have to watch what im doing, and i have been sleeping in the spare bed since the pain keeps me wakened and i need to sprawl in the bed to be comfy.  my next appointment for the chest clinic is going to be for the end of november since i might have to wait a while for this scan meanwhile its a case of  carry on in pain and not being able to breath properly as there is nothing can be done  till they find  out what is causing the problems :-(

freaked out when i went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. sitting on the windowsill outside was ninja bob. nothing unusual bout that but 3 hours ago i saw him inside !?!? i had not let him out so i put it down to old age messing with my brain again. let him in and opened a tin of cat food as a treat.  had not seen smidge all day but i presumed he was sleeping at the other side of the house.  as i was seperating the cat food...smidge will only eat the jelly so i have pick out all the chunks for bob lol. heard pityful meows coming from somewhere as i was doing it.  
soooo..bob had opened the two doors to let himself out , smidge had been nosey and went to investigate. the outside door was still open but the inside door had shut with the wind so poor smidgie was trapped :-(   luckely he was too scared to go outside.
dont think poor little smidge will be so nosey the next time. at the weekend he jumped out of the bedroom window onto the kitchen roof and hobgoth had to get the ladder out to rescue him. 
so hopefully he has learned his lesson now and remember that curiosity  and kitties do not mix........

thats me finally got my new piece of kit for the garden. joined neeps -northeast eco-friendly peoples site a while ago.  the master composter is always on the lookout for green cone digesters  that people dont want.  offered my one (which was a waste of time) and asked him if he had any info on compost tumblesrs...even better he had one lying around, would i want it ???  some thing for nothing?!!?  of course i would want it.
so now the composting moves up a gear and i should have usable compost in less than 4 weeks.  perfect for grass cuttings and all those bloody weeds that are still growing. 
really getting into this frugal living. im not a 'greenie' but was brought up to reuse, recycle and grow your own. its taken a while to get intio the swing of things but now the veg beds are up and running (and producing veg that actually taste of something lol) its move on to the next plan which is get my cane fruit plot sorted out,  build our chook house and run and track down some ex-battery chooks and look into home made wind turbines.
i suppose the thing that really made me realise that we are turning into land hippies is when i was watching economey gastronomey on tv last week and one household spent £23,000 a year on food for 2 adults and 5 kids but chucked at least a third of it down the waste disposal unit !!!!
and here was i  getting concerned bout us spending £40 a week on two of us. we actually have no food waste now anything edible left is frozen to be used again, made into soup or composted.  its amazing how having no spare cash makes you rethink your way of living.

overheard a rather disturbing conversation at the doctors this morning.
clinics likethe diabetic clinic  may have to be cancelled to make room for the flu/swine flu injections. the swine flu injection might be  unlicenced as there has not been enough time for paper work etc and the staff in the surgery will be refusing the injection unless it is a life or death situation.  lots of tamiflu problems too.
spoke to the doctor about it and there are lots of meetings with disgruntled staff going on as the goverment/nhs is making an arse of things as usual.
so ..the antibiotics have made no difference, either have the steroids. still got breathing problems, now having severe kidney pain, feeling sick,  shivery, and other stuff creeping up on me.  had a frank discussion with the doctor and he thinks that its not something thats gonna clear up and go away. still no chest clinic appointment so its a case of grin and bear it till something comes through.

so thats the latest dose of antibiotics finished. feel even worse than i did before them ;-(   so back to the doctor today.  back to having breathing difficulties and severe pain and now i feel like i have flu all the time, oh and a sore throat and it feels like i have been kicked in the kidneys. 
there is nothing more the dr can do till im seen by the chest clinic. have been referred as an emergency but still waiting for the appointment.  bah..meh.. and *^&*^%$%%..  now im on a course of steroids till further notice.
*sighs* i have felt crap and been in constant pain for  15 years with my arthritis, crohnes and all the other things that crop up because of them but i have never felt this unwell before.  its starting to worry me  (and the dr) what it is....

well at last me n the hobgoth have set a date for the wedding after 4and a half years together...october the 2nd 2014 (hopefully) at the caves in chedder gorge.
went there on hols and fell in love with the place and anyway, can  you really see us having a boring registary wedding ?!?!?!

awwww.. bob loves his mummy !!!  saw bob lying outside on the concrete with a little fuzzy present for his mummy. its was still alive with no damage but its a baby rat. mice, shrews and voles ok but farm rats are nasty little buggers.
he got bored and let it go so it ran to the pond. managed to get a hold of it again and put it into a pet carrier. so now we have a dillema...should we kill it or let it run free to let bob kill it ?????

edit..after being bitten by rat, the little bag of germs and viruses is now an ex-rat.....
btw i love furry  rodents, i used to keep rats but  the farm rats up here are a pest and when adult could do a cat a lot of damage...incase you are thinking im totally heartless ..

so it was back to the dr today after my mega doses of antibiotics. felt great for the first 2 days then my crohnes kicked in (even with pre and pro biotics) then after the course was finished i had a really bad sore throat, badly swollen tongue, inside of mouth red raw, severe kidney pains  and other horrible stuff.  that is why i never take antibiotics unless its a last resort.
got checked over and no chest infection but still having problems breathing (but not as bad as before), so got blood tests and will get an appointment for the chest clinic in aberdeen :-(  then i got more (different) antibiotics.....meh..
so thats been at least 6 months for the tiredness and fatigue, strange swelling in the liver area and over a month for the beathing problems ontop of the health problems i have already.  some days i wonder if its even worth getting up .....

looks like gary needs some cash for a new plane ;-) 

woa....looks like our council tax will be going up a bit.....

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1202173/Secret-Labour-tax-having-patio--Millions-homes-assessed-council-charge-hammers-middle-classes.html

time to move to northfield then lol

looks like its time to get the thermals looked out in readyness......not only are the nights fair drawing in, on the way to the broch to get our shopping today  we noticed they were starting hairsting. 
so for the next month and a half poor hobgoth will be getting stuck behind tractors and combines on his daily commute....awwww :-)

still having problems with my breathing so it was off to the doctors again. my results from the hospital are not back yet so i had to tell him what i knew of my test results !!!  after more poking and prodding he thinks it might be a chest infection even though im not showing the usual symptoms. 
meh..am having to take a massive dose of antibiotics which i am not happy at as they make me feel even worse as they usually start my crohns off  :-(  managed to get decent  probiotics which should help. so we will se what happens once they are finished in a weeks time.
if it is a chest infection me and my doctor wil not be happy the hospital missed it....

sitting at home in my comfy seat  covered in cat fuzz at last.  my  scans came back negative so they chucked me out, since it was a short stay ward. so no clots but im still cant breath properly all the time.  the hospital dr never even came back to see me to discuss what else it could be. off to dr tomorrow to complain and see what the next step is.
thanks to everyone for  their get well soon wishes..much appreciated  x

just back from my vq scan.  had to breath in some radioactive isotope and was injected with them too .  was stuck in a scanner for 10 mins then back up to the ward from hell. its not the nurses (brilliant staff here)  bu the other folk, pah, nosy old  biddie who should keep here thoughts to hereslf,  somone who sulks like a kid and cries when she gets repremanded by the nurses and  a couple of others who think im in this ward to switch their lights on and sort their pillows and backrest.
dont get me wrong, i dont mind helping folk  but  they can wait for the nurses like everyone else.
so, anyway...hopefully the scan results  will be processed quick  so i can get  home tonight when hobgoth comes in.  im off to drink gallons of water to flush this isotopes out of my kidneys...is coz my pee glows in the dark ???? lol..... 

i am soooo bored.... had breakfast and mid morning tea and biccie, so thats the excitement for the morning over.  looks like i am not getting my scan today  ;-(  so i am stuck in here till at least tomorrow. 
wooo... just had my blood pressure and stuff taken...cant even go for a wander as i am wheelchair bound till i get my scan. blood results cameback negative for  clots but they have to make  sure. 
had fun last night when hobgoth took me out for a spin in a chair lol.  really missing him as  this is only the second time we  have beenapart since we met  ;-(   ah well  abcence makes the farts go honda......
i wub you my little sea cucumber ......xxxxxxx

so here i am, stuck n a sweaty hospital till  at least monday :-(     looks like it is a lung clot so am on blood thinning injections and waiting for a scan. i has tinterweb at  my bed so thats a bit of a boost.
hobgoth is making the journey in to liberate me every day but i end up  at the door in my wheelchair and have to come back in ......booo... missing the kitties  oh and hobgoth too. its not the same not having the smell of stinky feet beside you in bed lo.....

so now ninja bob has added a new trick to his repertoire.  two mornings in a row hobgoth has come downstairs  at 5 in the morning to go to work  only to find  both the doors to go outside open.  first door out opens outwards then the actual outside door opens inwards.... he has been able to open the first door for ages but looks like now he has mastered an inward opening door.!!!!
so we were both outside this morning trying to find tilly bumcakes as there was no sign of her inside.  after 15 mins a little face appeared at the scullery window (inside). dont know where she had been hiding inside....unless she tillyported from somewhere ?!?!?!!?
so whats his next trick gonna be  i wonder ??????